Tanning Mom Sex Tape and Pokerstars Macau

tanning mom toplessI can’t make this shit up! Tanning Mom, famous for shoe leather skin, recently shot topless pics on a beach and tried to use them as an audition to get Vivid to let her make a sex tape, saying “”I am far MORE popular and WAY HOTTER than Farrah!” and “Men want a cougar and a real woman, not a teenybopper!”. Fuck me! Vivid’s answer was pretty simple, stating that she pretty much has a face for radio. Zing!

Meanwhile, I was in Macau yesterday (long story) and got to play in one of the first tournaments at the new Pokerstars Live at the City Of Dreams. While I am sure they aren’t checking out adult blogs, I have to say congrats to them for a nicely run event (record single day tournament record for them), and the facility is pretty darn nice. I didn’t make the money, but I did place in the top third, not bad considering it’s my first real tournament in years. If you get the chance to visit Macau, it’s worth the effort… especially if you are a single guy and love sexy Asian girls!

Meanwhile, in the adult world… Hot Sexy Thing blog is turning out to be one of my most popular sites, plenty of new bookmarks there recently and hot girls every day. Also, I have added a number of pornstars to Porniki, with galleries and stuff for Cindy Starfall, Sasha Grey, Stacie Jaxxx, and Christy Mack. I always try to add some new stuff over there, bookmark the site and tell your friends (or use the facebook / G+ / Twitter buttons to like us and spread the word!).

Why I stopped playing at Party Poker

I closed my Party Poker account yesterday.  Got them to confirm it, close it out, pay it out, and that is it.  That’s right folks, Rawalex has left the room, and isn’t coming back.   I will never in my life play another game of Poker at Party Poker again.

Here’s the story.  I have played quite a bit over the last year or so, and I am not a horrible player, not a great player… middle of the road and in with the right groups I can make some money at it and have a good time.  I don’t make the money fast enough to make it a living or anything, but it wouldn’t be unusual to make $100 or so a night net for a few tables.  Not a great amount of money, but I am not a big money player so no big deal, right?

Anyway, about a month ago, I realized that I still had 10,000 or so Party Points in my account.  I had recently cashed in almost all the cash in my account, so I figured I would play some points tournaments for a while to keep in practice, while not really putting any more money on the table for a while.  No reason to throw money at it when I can get into some pretty interesting tournaments with points, right?

Now, I don’t typically do so well at big tournaments.  I have some issues with attention span I guess, and I get pretty antsy after sitting for a couple of hours and want to get on with it.   With some concentration I can pretty much make it to the money, but not much further.  So I play my points with the idea to try some different strategies for getting to the end of the tournament.  Some worked better than others, as you can imagine.

Anyway, I log in yesterday, and suddenly my account has no more Party Points in it.   Guess which poker company added in a new rule that says “if you don’t earn any new points in 30 days, we take all your existing points away”?  It is change from their “account not active” rule they use to have, so now you literally have to put money on the table every 30 days or your points are withdrawn.

This rather major change wasn’t exactly made public.   I had played down just over 5000 party points in a month, and they wandered away with the other half of my points.

So, pick up the phone and call their support center, and well, that is when the fun starts.  (I am not going to be racist here… but) It doesn’t take too much intelligence to realize that the call center is located in India.  Professional script reads and totally helpless otherwise.  I described my problem, and the person on the phone proceeded to lecture me about not playing enough, and how I should read the rules because I obviously don’t understand how the party points system works, and that it is my fault that I didn’t read the rule carefully.  I don’t disagree that I should stay up to date, but I missed this last change, and they didn’t go out of their way to update their members about this points grab.

I tried to explain how this was different from the terms when I signed up, and the guy had the balls to say “It is your job to re-read the rules regularly.  Things change, and that is your responsiblity to re-read those rules on a regular basis.”

I asked them to close my account.  I didn’t call for a lecture.  This guy won’t close the account, but keeps trying to restart his lecture about my responsiblities to check the terms regularly.


He won’t do it.  I am steaming by this point.  How hard is it to close an account?  He is waffling, trying to once again launch into his prepared speech about my responsilbities… and I had to bite my tongue to keep from going off on this breathing automon of a “service” agent.  Finally he gets a clue, and still won’t cancel my account, but says he will transfer me to his supervisor.

Supervisor comes on, and the first thing he does is start to lecture me about my responsiblities to read the terms and conditions on a regular basis.

Do these people not have a fucking clue that by this time I am about ready to ream them hard for all this fucking “it’s your fault stupid customer” talk?

Anyway, after 10 minutes of explaining carefully how much this level of customer service isn’t serving me, the supervisor has the balls to say “I cannot close your account”.  Some dumbfuck arrogant rule that requires that the account closing request come by email from the email in the account – this even after they have identified me on the phone, used my pin number, and made other checks to assure who I am.  They are able to talk about my account with me, but not actually help me.


If you have a party poker account, close it.  There are much better places to play, and they won’t fuck you over like these guys did to me.  FUCK THEM!

More for Party Poker Land

I have been playing a bit on and off, not really making a dedicated stab at it, but certainly paying attention and not getting myself into any trouble.  I have played a few free rolls (7000 people, 6000 of them total idiots playing anything and everything) and a few qualifier types to see what is what.

The first thing I notice is that since the increase in starting chips, the actual number of people left after an hour seems to have dropped.  I use to see about 50% of the people left after an hour, and now I am seeing more like 40% or even less.  It means that you have to pile chips a little faster because people are playing hard and screwing up massively.

It is interesting, if nothing else.

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Meanwhile, back at Party Poker

First off, for whatever reason, Party Poker has had a fair bit of network issues recently.  I think it might have to do with upgrading their infrastructure to support their newer version game software, which I have a feeling is a little more demanding on their network.   Yesterday they were down for about 2 hours in early PM EDT, which would normally be prime time for plucking the pigeons.  I am sure some people were less than pleased.

I will say that over the last couple of weeks they seem to have finally sorted out the issues with their software.  The game play is a little better than it was, a little more smooth and all.  Plus I personally feel that there are a ton less bad beats out there and less rewarding of the people playing shit hands all over.  There is still some amazingly bad stuff out there, but bad players seem to get tripped up after a while, which is a good thing.

I have been playing a bunch of 6 player sit and go NLH.  They don’t pay as much to win (a $10+1 table pays 36 and 24, no third place) so the numbers are all a little different.   However, I think that they payback on these on average is a little bit better net, plus I find that the players are a little better, less people playing “go fish” with shit hands.

So I am on a money percentage of about 40%, which is what it needs to be.  So things are back on track that way.

Party Poker, two versions later

Well, I went to check out Party Poker again to see what was going on.  First off I got ANOTHER new version of the software, which is always a good thing.  However, there are still some pretty major fuckups (I will get to that in a sec) and there is still some issues with the placement of things on the screen that bother me.

Then their network crached like a fucking rock for most of the overnight period.  Once that sucker crashes, it is almost impossible to get things back going right.

Anyway, the next night I wandered back to play a game or two.   I am getting use to this higher chip count thing, although I could see a ton of players who don’t have a clue throwing way too many chips at really poor hands, thinking that 2000 chips somehow makes them richer than 800 chip for the same price did before.  Little do they realize that the ratios of chips to blinds is different at the earlier levels, so in fact you are somewhat poorer in the end to start with.  Anyway, these clowns are either rich with chips or flat as broke after a few hands.

While everyone I know says that the card selector / shuffling thing has not changed I will say that I have seen less and less major dog hands winning, and things  seem to be back to a more normal level.  It may be that the morons are still morons and the smarter players are not getting conned into staying in bad hands, but things just seem to be better.    Yes, I have won some tables and taken some tournament money in the last few days.

Anyway, I am keeping my eye on it all… we will see 🙂

Poking around

Well, I am continuing my quest for the best poker online. Basically, I have spent the last year or so playing Party Poker and Empire Poker. Party Poker I think is about the most popular of the bunch, attracting upwards to 75,000 players online at peak times. Empire Poker is at the other end of the scale, only attracting maybe 7,000 people at peak.

I have been through a number of the bigger name places, and for various reasons, I have just not been very satisfied with them. In some cases, they will not accept the payment methods I normally use (and attempt to get me to signup for some off brand “payment system”). In other cases, I signup, play a couple of tables, and realize that the quality of the players is very, very low.

What do I mean by low quality players?

I mean the type of players who will stay in with a 64 suited, flop a single card from the same suit, and go all in. Heck, they have a hot hand, so why not, right? Well, at least one poker system I have seen appears to really reward massive dog hands, and these players flop the flush often enough to make it hard to play against. Basically, I lost any number of good hands to people who played total shit out of position and ended up pulling it out on the river.

Everyone can play a shit hand now and again, and every so often these hands do pan out. All of us (without exception) bluff our asses off at times, using the 72os as a hammer to steal the chips. But some of these players come in with consistantly horrible hands, raising small pairs, low suited connectors, and ANY face card. In a way you could call it agressive, but in the end it is stupid play that wouldn’t stand up in the real world. As I said, I get the feeling that some of these poker systems have their thumb on the scale a little bit, and fudge it to make those dog hands win to keep those players interested and excited.

This all became clear to me last weekend when I played poker with real people (during the superbowl party weekend thingie). These were not pros, not the best players in the world, but a nice mix of everyone from clueless amateurs to aggressive semi-pro type players. We played some two table, 15-20 player games, and in those the players who were too aggressive or called bad hands were blown out (and I was a couple of times). For the most part poorer players didn’t make it to the end, and the better players did well. I rarely saw a massive dog pull it out, and it was the exception rather than the rule.

That got me thinking about how the online games play out.

I have read up on how the random shuffle thing works (they use things like mouse movements and other weird random events to set random number generators in action). I have read classic poker books (like David Sklansky and Mason Malmuth’s seminal work on Texas Hold’em “Hold’em Poker for advanced players”) and I am pretty good at “in my head” math. Each and every card has a 1.9% chance of coming up in any position. After the flop, there is about a 5% chance than any single card will come up on the turn or river (2.5-2.6% , basically 1 in 45, because the only think you know for sure is that you have 2 cards, the other player has 2 card, and there are 3 cards up… so there is a 1 in 45 chance that any single card comes up). When you start doing the math on the chance that a dog hand turns into a winner (say like pulling runner runner to make a straight or coming up with one of the other 2 that will turn your ducks into a set) the numbers are fairly low, and the chance that those hands progress into something better is quite small. That multiple dog hands would progress to winners is even more unlikely. That a majority of dog hands would turn into winners is laughable.

When I see that, I am out of there.

Why does it happen? My theory on this is pretty simple. Poker rooms would lose players if the bad players kept losing all the time. The thrill of winning a big hand, going all in and winning, well, that is powerful incentive to keep playing. If you feel you are winning hands but losing tables, as a player you might think you are getting closer and that would be enough to encourage players to reload their accounts and keep playing.

I have noticed this more on smaller poker sites rather than the largest, which makes me think of the situation as marketting rather than absolutely random shuffles and deals. Try to keep the fish putting the money in the top, and the good players should be able to profit from it (but not all the time, because they keep getting bad beat by lucky beginners playing crap hands).

Anyway, I continue on my trek, there are a few more major sites to check out and then, well, I guess I will have to figure out where it is I really want to play.

You could play with me at Empire Poker – click here to download the software for free

So I tried another poker place yesterday…

I won’t say the name, I don’t want to make them (or the players on that place) feel bad.

It is one of the smaller places. Primetime there was about 5000 players (party poker typically runs up to 70k players in prime time), and they had a number of “guaranteed minimum” tourneys that I could try.

So I tossed a buck in the account and went prowling to see how this place goes. First off, the tables filled up much slower. Not enough critical mass, you could wait 20 minutes to fill a single $50 sit and go. There are only about 500 tables total running, so you can see it isn’t all that busy. In playing 3 S&G tables, I saw people twice that I played against on the first table. Small, small world, I guess.

Anyway, I have never played with such a bunch of idiots in all my life. I lost my ass all over the place. These people were staying in and going all in with things like Q5os, and then making their two pair or set on the river and knocking out good hands. It was entirely, without a doubt, all about luck. In all the time I was there, I didn’t lose a single hand against a better hand, I always lost them against worst hands and players staying in for luck (best example, guy has 2 clubs in his hands, 47 or something… flop has a single club and two faces in it (I got the high pair out of the deal, with a decent kicker). This dumbass goes all in. I call him, and the turn and river are clubs… I am whacked by a guy who all in-ed a hand that needed runner runner and he got it (and someone had the nuts to type “NH”… dumbass!).

My only thought is that this system has the river screw you factor turned up to 11 to make sure that the morons keep winning.

Anyway, I won’t be going back there!

Want to play poker online? Click here for Empire Poker

More Poker stuff

Well, the last few days have been interesting, that is for sure. I have never really done all that well in larger tournaments, limiting most of my play to sit and go tables (online) and 2-4 2-6 or 4-8 tables in person. I am NOT a big spending high roller or anything like that. I wisely keep my playing within reasonable numbers, and as a regult, I get to enjoy the games more and worry about the outcome much less.

Things started a couple of days ago, when I decided to play some of the $1+0 and $10+1 bigger tournaments. The $1+0 ones are truly interesting, as they certainly attract a very wide crowd of people (usually 2000+ players) and the skill levels go from decent to great to total clueless beeyaches. Let me tell you, it really seems to help my confidence and skill level when it comes to spotting the players and spotting the easy marks.

Anyway, I noticed that I was doing pretty good in these things. Routinely coming in the top 20% or so, and I made a slight bit of money ($3 or $4) in a couple of them for making it into the top 10%. During the same time I had been playing some $5 and $10 sit and go tables, and I was really doing well, probably 50% in the money and at least 25% wins. Not terrible, and keeping my bank reasonable and happy.

Well, I decided (quite randomly) to give a $50 tourney a shot. I hadn’t played anything over $20 since i started back, but I was sort of in a what the fuck kind of a mood and I decided to give it a shot. I was mostly interested because the number of players was reasonable, and as it turned out, the payouts went back almost to 10%, which is pretty decent.

Anyway, long story short, I made it into the money (solidly in, and then I blew it playing a hand I should have stepped away from) bringing me about $150 for my $50.

Kewl, I thought. Maybe just luck, whatever.

So today I pick up an afternoon $20 tourney. Bigger crowd (about 700). I played carefully, staying just about 10 times the blinds pretty much consistantly. I picked up a couple of good size pots… and the money number was 70. This game stayed on 71 players for about 15 hands in a row. Finally the dam broke and someone got knocked out. So I was in the money again. I finally made it up to about 45th, which paid me about 5 times what I put in the front end, which is fine by me.

Most importantly, I stated to get the feeling I was just a little bit better of a player today than I had been in the past. I really seem to have started down a more positive route for these tournament things (I am playing a $1+0 right now).

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Back in the saddle

Well, I took a couple of months off, not realy playing too much and generally paying attention to other things in my life that were more important (plus trying to get away from a very specific playing style that was killing me). Anyway, in the process, I didn’t realize and lost over 7000 points I had built up at PP. Oh well. What can I say, my own fault, right?

Anyway, I have played a little bit over the last few days, and the results are mixed but encouraging. I played some sit and go tables (about broke even), and played a few lower dollar tourneys (I am landing about in the top 20% each time… ). I tend to be playing pretty good, concentration okay and everything, but over time I tend to lose the thread, lose control, and I start playing poorer and poorer hands, or playing good hands long past the time that they weren’t good anymore. That is what lands me out of the money most of the time.

I played my first rebuy / addon game as well. It was a cheapy ($5), and I was amazed at the number of people who didn’t addon at the end of the first hour. I figured that half the people should have less than the average number of chips, so each of them should be at least interested, plus some of the others as a matter of course. Yet in this case, not even 20% of the people took advantage from what I could see in the numbers.

So I will be back to play a little bit more, money is tightly controlled, so I am playing really money tables not subs or semis… at least not until I build up a little roll to work with.

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Party Poker adds Blackjack and sidebets

Okay, no links or anything in this one… just a thought.

Party Poker has added Blackjack and sidebets to their sites. Basically, the blackjack is a pretty standard pay to play game. I have tried it a bit, and I lost there about as fast as I lose in vegas. Make some money, but overall it’s a fast way to lose.

They also added sidebets during the poker games. You can bet on “all red” “all black”… weird stuff.

What I wonder about, I guess, is that poker is a game of skill then luck. Blackjack and sidebets are a game of luck and then maybe some skill (although you can easily teach a bot to play blackjack, the rules are pretty simple and the “what to do” isn’t hard either). So is this moving away from game of skill and into game of chance?

Just a thought.

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